The Grand Old Sham: The Republican National Convention

“Corporations are people, my friend.”
“I like being able to fire people.”
“I’m not concerned about the very poor.”
– Mitt Romney


My Fellow Americans (and any international Netizens who register more than a ‘blip’ on the IQ scale),

Forgive me for going political on you. Spare me your rising ire for daring to wax vitriolic about a concern that should be an affront to anyone who still possesses any ability to think for him/herself … or an iota of self-respect.

Question: Do you know when you are being insulted or patronized? In other words, if you’re brainwashed and you know it, clap your hands.

Today the Republican National Convention (RNC) will kick into full gear … full swing … full frontal. Yes, yes, we get see the ‘Grand Old Party’ (GOP) in all its glory, grandstanding for its so-called conservative strength brand of snake oil.

You do know what snake oil is, don’t you? A product of questionable value that claims to cure all of your ills. It’s a product whose only real value is to the sellers yearning to fleece you while profiting from your misery. This week, a large den of snake oil salesmen will be nesting at the RNC in Tampa. Their mission simply is to rob you blind. And yes, it will prove to be quite the ‘medicine show’!

At the murky bottom of this parade of quackery will be the nomination of an ‘official’ candidate for the US Presidential Election (i.e: sock puppet for the elite and multinational corporations actually running the country). This year the dishonor goes to Mitt Romney, who is pretty much the last and least man standing since the Republican primaries disintegrated into a freak show (please continue reading after your convulsions subside). The nomination is sort of a ‘Cash N’ Carry’ affair apparently, and Romney’s got the dough! 

Of course, Mitt (aka: Mr. Money Bags, Mr. I am the 1-Percent, Mr. ‘Outsourcer’ in chief) needs no introduction … especially if you’ve followed any of the following Twitter hash-tags:

 #MittHappens   #RomneyShambles   #MittHitsTheFan   #RomneyHood

 Check them out for plenty of side-splitting political Lulz! I kid you not!

As such, Romney & Company will try ever so hard at the RNC to make you think that he is anything but an elitist ‘DERP’ … again. Rather than marshaling its resources to devise a credible plan to fix the economy and sorry things in the USA, the GOP mainly plans to slap ‘another dress on the old whore’.

Some have referred to this blatant attempt to pull the wool over American voters’ eyes as a ‘Convention Reinvention’, the Grand Old Do-Over, An Extreme Makeover sponsored by the ‘Go Back Team’. Of course, the problem is that by the time the convention ends, the campaign organizers will most likely have to do it all over again!

What’s A Poor Man To Think?

Yes, I know there are many issues to consider before you surrey down to the voting booth. Yes, there’s been a lot of dirt thrown around by both parties. Choosing a candidate should not be this difficult. Life should not be this confusing.

It’s appalling to me that gazillions of dollars are spent, by all political parties, trying to appeal to Americans as if they are dolts, dunces and derps. It’s a shame that the US elections have degenerated into an endless stream of sound bites that basically are nothing more than fear-mongering.

Sure, to those who already know on which side ‘their butter is spread’ the dirty ad campaigns are high comedy for the choir. If only that were their true intention … (cue: creepy music)

Two-Faced Brainwashing For The Masses

Party politics suggest that conservative values support limited government so that the elite and Big Business can do what they want at your expense. This is not rocket science, folks. All the talk about ‘free markets’ and ‘individual liberties’ is just bait for your votes.

Therefore, to lower and middle class conservatives far and wide, I say where is your dignity? Why not be honest with yourselves and demand transparency from your party? Ask them to stop pulling the tired old switch and bait tactic. Tell them to stop insulting your intelligence and treating you like mindless punters cum zombies.

Big Business concerns, like Romney and his SuperPAC cronies in this campaign, throw wheelbarrows full of money into marketing and advertising so that you don’t have to think for yourself. It’s called brainwashing and it’s nothing more than a blatant attempt at mind control.

Our so-called ‘liberties’ in the USA are a myth. It’s a farce when a political party rambles on and on about protecting your personal freedoms, especially since it already has you in a position where you can’t think for yourself anymore. In other words, the GOP is fairly certain that you will vote for Romney as easily as you might “Reach for Lucky Strikes”.

The Sad Facts For Conservatives: Calling A Spade A Spade

Mitt Romney is nothing more than a modern-day carpetbagger. He is prone to saying whatever it is he thinks you want to hear just to get your vote. Catch him in Florida and he says ‘A’. Catch him in Georgia and he says ‘B’. Ask him a question and he refuses to answer. If ever a ‘made for TV’ film about him were produced, it would be titled ‘Wimpy Does The Big Snub’.

The Facts: In the United States, almost 13 million people are unemployed. Most likely they are guys like you and your friends who are broke and busted. Moreover, in recent years, the country seems to have established a fixed percentage of unemployed, sort of a permanent jobless class thanks to job outsourcing and automation. To add insult to injury, $700 billion is spent on defense to protect Big Business interests overseas under the guise of spreading democracy.

The Ruse: The GOP loves to talk about ‘tax cuts’ because no one likes paying taxes. Know what I mean? I think you do. Yet, let’s be honest, tax cuts, especially like the ones that Romney has in mind, really only benefit Big Business and the rich – not so much you or your neighbors, who you are so desperately trying to keep up with. Don’t fall this trap. Call the GOP’s bluff and tell them you’re not idiots!

It’s really only those bleeding heart liberals (you know, the ones you’ve been conditioned to call ‘commies’, ‘pinkos’ or ‘socialists’), that are seriously interested in improving the plight and standard of folks like you. Yes, I know it’s hard to dismiss all the NRA and bible humping rhetoric; the cliques, the crackpots and the Klan.

Yes, I understand it’s easier to feign the racist and blame others instead of eating crow and admitting that YOUR party has not just let you down, but has made you look like a goosestepping fool.

Isn’t it time to take back YOUR country from those, like Mitt Romney and Bain Capital, who will gladly sell you out for a buck? Isn’t it time to improve education for your children, control healthcare costs that are eating you out of house and home, and ensure that Social Security and Medicare are around for future generations … or even for you when you need it?

Yes, I know it’s frustrating. If you’re in the middle class, you dream of being in the upper class. I understand. It’s part of the ‘American Dream’ bill of goods we were all sold as children as we stood and recited the pledge of allegiance in kindergarten. I know you want it so bad you can taste it and will probably do anything just to stand next to someone elite, like Mitt Romney, for a ‘photo op’.

Question: Why do the Republicans have the Tea Party and Libertarian punters banging on the gong about ‘free markets’? Answer: because it’s a great soundbite that allows the little fish to have the pipe-dream of swimming with the same swagger as the big fish.

Time for a reality check. It’s called patronizing. It’s a tease before you and your mom and pop soda shop are gobbled up whole by said big fish. And trust me, you’re just a snack for companies like Bain Capital and guys like Mitt Romney.

Isn’t it time to support a party whose mission is to fight for local investment and American jobs for you and yours, right here the good old USA?

Lastly, if you are s so-called Libertarian, ask the GOP why you and your pals are sitting in the nosebleed seats at the RNC. Isn’t obvious that Mitt & Anne Romney prefer NOT to sit next to “YOU PEOPLE”? Get real, for Pete’s sake … and Ron Paul’s, too.

It’s often said to vote your conscience. In this election, I say vote your intelligence.







PS: A big shout of SOLIDARITY to all the Occupy Tampa and Occupy Wall Street protestors who made their way to the RNC. Power To The People!

PPS: Free Pussy Riot


Suggested Viewing:

Inside the Republican National Convention: Featuring ‘Veep’ Paul Ryan

 Suggested Reading:

Invasion of the Party Snatchers: How the Holy-Rollers and the Neo-Cons Destroyed the GOP I Can't Believe I'm Sitting Next to a Republican: A Survival Guide for Conservatives Marooned Among the Angry, Smug, and Terminally Self-Righteous The Republican Brain: The Science of Why They Deny Science- and Reality The Party Is Over: How Republicans Went Crazy, Democrats Became Useless, and the Middle Class Got Shafted

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s