Frigging Fructose Festers Fears

Warning: The following blog post will make you sick, but if you’re like me, not as sick as you already are.

Let’s begin with the fact that I am an emotional eater. There, I’ve said it. I freely admit that I can eat myself sick and all in the name of stress relief. That’s right. In some twisted way I’ve come to falsely believe that on any given day my habitually eating myself into oblivion will momentarily ease my life’s chronic daily tension. Yes, I know that I can’t stem the tide of life’s indignities with junk food or even health food, but knowing as such has never caused me to muster the energy required to facilitate ‘mind over matter’ (i.e. put that fork down, step away from the table).

As I wedge that last chunky morsel of hot dog bun into my mouth, I realize the sad reality that the orgasmic second of stress release I’m craving is fleeting; it comes and goes and is replaced by that beached whale like bloating feeling in my gut. Lord, where did I ever get the idea that eating brings stress release? As I reach for another slice of key lime pie, I have to wonder if I was born this way, or if somehow I’ve been programmed to behave like this. Genetics? Nature vs. nurture? Or, … just plain old conspiracy.

You Must Obey! Feed Me Seymour!

Nutritional Info for Dummies:
Ok, so if you rifle through the contents of your pantry, you will likely find that the single most common ingredient that the majority, if not all, of your packaged food items contain is ‘high fructose corn syrup’ (HFCS). It’s what makes practically all of the processed food we eat taste palatable, even some that are touted as ‘dietetic’ or ‘light’. Without this processed ‘chemical’ we might sooner be eating the cardboard and plastic packaging, than its contents. Trust me, there is no such thing as a gastronomically delicious dietetic delicacy.

    • We all know that sugar in any form isn’t good for us. It’s a poison by any other name.
    • Sucrose is table sugar processed from cane or beet sugar. Not to be snorted. Promotes cavities and tooth rot.
    • Glucose / Dextrose is the sugar found in our bodies. What’s not used for energy turns to ugly unsightly fat. Not what you find on your powdered donut.
    • Fructose is a natural sugar found in fruits. We’re told it’s good because it doesn’t raise insulin levels and it’s all natural, but so is sucrose. Too much fructose triggers bloating and diarrhea.
    • Corn Syrup is a cheaper sugar substitute made from corn starch. Like hair conditioner, it softens texture and adds volume. Some people bathe in corn starch to relieve crotch rot and other rashes.
  • High fructose corn syrup (HFCS) is a laboratory produced mix of fructose and glucose. It has a higher concentration than regular fructose, tastes a zillion times sweeter, and most importantly to food manufacturers (aka Big Business) it’s cheaper to produce.
Big Burp

Moreover, since it takes less of HFCS to approximate the same level of ‘sweetness’ as ordinary sugar, then to people like me this means we can eat more. Come on and be honest. You feel less guilty drinking that ‘Double Big Gulp’ of Coca-Cola because you don’t see the word ‘sugar’ listed as an ingredient. In a similar vein, you are more likely to polish off that vat of fat free ice cream than the full fat variety. Such self-delusions of grandeur can be quite self-reinforcing. However, it’s not just our lack of guilt or ignorance that perpetrates our acts of gluttony. Read on, for here the conspiracy lies. 

HFCS is truly an insidious creation. It addicts us with its tastes and then once ingested forces a biochemical game on us; it not only contributes to weight gain, but also fosters overeating. Fructose does not stimulate the production of  leptin, which is the hormone responsible for telling our bodies “You’ve had enough, you fat porker!” It also doesn’t suppress levels of grehlin, which is a hormone that screams “Hey! I’m starving over here! Feed me!” Now, these are just the effects of good old regular fructose. Concerning HFCS, and let’s place emphasis on the words ‘high fructose’, we can multiply these facts exponentially by … well even without the numbers, we can do the math and understand why food manufacturers love it. In fact, the governmental ‘powers that be’ love it too, because more HFCS means more food consumption, which equals more taxes. It also means our wonderfully horrific fast food exports are winners abroad. And, as a result, world domination increases in proportion to waist size.

The Corn Refiners Association

We all know that sugar is bad enough, but HFCS is worse and here’s the rub: HFCS promotes ‘metabolic syndrome’. That’s a fancy word for a combination of risk factors that trigger weight gain, raised cholesterol levels, coronary artery disease, strokes, and type 2 diabetes. It’s sort of like the ‘triple crown’ of health ills. Moreover, for those of you who abstain from alcohol, you may still be at risk of cirrhosis of the liver thanks to HFCS. In fact, the only real metabolic difference in our bodies between drinking a can of Coke versus a can of beer is that the latter gives us a ‘buzz’. Unlike Coke, beer is metabolized in our brains. Yet, HFCS does it’s damage so surreptitiously that you might think that both the Corn Refiners Association and the National Corn Growers Association were on contract with the Pentagon!

Let’s be honest here, I know it’s wrong to wash down that Snickers bar and bag of Doritos with a 32 ounce ‘BIG GULP’ of soda. It’s even worse when it involves a 44 ounce ‘Super Big Gulp’, or a 64 ounce ‘Double Gulp’ … and especially with a 128 ounce ‘Team Gulp’! However, it’s one thing for me to willfully poison my health with foodstuffs I toss down my gullet, and it’s another to fathom that various agricultural and food manufacturing industries, as well as Uncle Sam, are attempting to profit from my lack of willpower. In other words, it’s one thing for me to knowingly feign a dump truck as I hold a bag of BBQ potato chips up into the air to let its contents ‘fly down the chute’ into my drooling mouth. It’s another thing altogether to realize that I’m being fattened for the slaughter at the behest of ‘big business’ for its own twisted economic cravings. Knowing this makes me sick, and it should disgust you, too.

Not from the ‘X-Files’

The other day I invested 90 minutes of my life to watching a well reasoned presentation, by one Dr. Robert H. Lustig, that laid quite intelligently, and entertainingly, not only how sugar, fructose, and especially HFCS, are killing us, but also how various big business and governmental interests are pulling the trigger. Watching this presentation helped me change my mind about the foods I eat. Now … I only need to change the foods I eat. I suggest you do the same. Here’s the video:

Watch the video and then go to the following websites and complain. Better yet, head on over to their local offices and vomit at their door. Leave them a can of Coke, too!

The US Food and Drug Adminstration:
– Uncle Sam. He knows the truth. The truth is out there.

The US Department of Agricuture:
– Uncle Sam says grow more corn! We need more ethanol and HFCS!

The Corn Refiners Association:
‘Children of the Corn’. Sort of like the NRA and the Tobacco Industry ‘Death Merchants’.

The National Corn Growers Association:
Corn Nuts. Proud makers of corn, not porn or tobacco. Not to be confused with the ‘Northern California Golf Association’.


PS. Thanks for reading. Why do we believe it’s normal to gulp down 32 ounces of Coca-Cola, shove a Big Mac and fries down our throats, and then go for another 32 ounce refill? Aren’t you ashamed that we are so gullible as to continue to allow ‘big business’ and government to poison us in the name of good economics? Are you an emotional eater or do you really think you’re getting exercise by running to the fridge every 10 minutes? Let me know.

Suggested Reading:

The Sugar Fix: The High-Fructose Fallout That Is Making You Fat and Sick  Suicide by Sugar: A Startling Look at Our #1 National Addiction  High Fructose Corn Syrup and the Fibromyalgia Connection: Fibromyalgia Recovery Handbook  The Unhealthy Truth: How Our Food Is Making Us Sick - And What We Can Do About It

Suggested Listening:

Cocaine  Brown Sugar  Children Of The Corn (2009)

2 thoughts on “Frigging Fructose Festers Fears

  1. Interesting post! I'll watch the video one of these days. I think we like fast food because it's easy lazy-food, good (pack on the sodium!), and sometimes it feels cool to go out and eat (rebels!) 😛


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